pornochromatic

A few weeks ago, I went to a friend’s wedding in LA and was seated at “the porn table” with a few adult industry luminaries – including Joey Silvera. I’d never met Joey before, but I was happy to find out that he’s a very cool, friendly guy.

We talked for a few minutes about the interview I did with Miles Long and Jenna Haze’s first scene and her blowjobbery in said scene. The topic of conversation evolved and eventually, he told me this story:

When Joey was a young man (he estimated he was in his early 20’s), he was hitchhiking with a a friend to a destination that I don’t believe was ever mentioned. They were picked up by a guy whose car was littered with porno mags. Joey had never seen porn before and got super turned on (I believe he actually made a reference to how hard his cock was, but I forget his phrasing).

The driver, knowing how excited a young impressionable man can get about pornography, offered to take them to his house where he had lots more porn. Joey’s older, wiser friend said no way and had the guy deposit them back on the side of the road.

Joey said that he was so young, naive and horny that he probably would’ve gone back to the guy’s house and “let him blow me” or some such thing, perhaps ending up at the bottom of a river in a trash bag. Looking back, he says he’s thankful the friend got them out of there, although it sounded like he was kinda pissed about it at the time.

Joey obviously went on to become a performer and then director of some of the perviest, awesomest porn ever made. One’s first encounter with porn is a life-changing experience and on some level, and I guess we have the creepy porno car guy to thank.

As a complete side note, I got to pitch Joey my favorite unrealized porn idea: “Tranny Step-MILFs” (get it? because they can’t have kids). Perhaps unsurprisingly, he’s been working on a Tranny MILF movie, but has only been able to get one scene in the can so far. I guess finding 40-year-old trannies willing to do porn isn’t as easy as one might think. Either way, I hope he finishes it and Tranny Step-MILFs becomes a hugely successful and popular series. Then Joey can make my second-favorite porn idea. I can’t tell you what it is just yet, but I will say it does not involve Octomom…

In my life, the passing of another year is most noticeably marked by the Adult Entertainment Expo (everyone still calls it AVN), which occurs in early January. As I sit here preparing my interview questions for this year’s show, I’m thinking over last year’s show; how to improve, what people really want to know about these girls, what’s happened since the last AVN?

How can I Improve?

• I should be picking up my video camera today. I have two different microphones that I’ll be testing for performance in ridiculously loud situations.
• I’ve scheduled 17 (!!!) interviews so far and I don’t think there’s any way to get through all of them without pre-written questions. So I’m writing those.
• I think the best thing I can do (for myself at least) is to be a little less nervous throughout the whole process. Maybe Xanax = better interviews?

What Questions to Ask?

• Researching and writing questions for all of these girls is more difficult than it probably sounds. I also wonder if what I consider an interesting question is really interesting to the people who will eventually watch the interviews.
• I’ve gone and watched/read other peoples’ interviews with porn stars. Most are bad/boring. The blame for this is shared by all parties involved. There are questions that I simply won’t ask this year (ex: What’s your favorite position?)
• Seriously, what do you guys want to know about these girls? Please tell me.

What’s Happened this Year?

• After my employment transition (is that even a phrase?) in March, I’ve been writing, taking classes and working on my own projects, including this blog.
• It’s been a pretty good year, and without getting too sappy, I just want to thank you guys for sticking with me. Having readers is a good thing for any blogger, but having awesome ones who make me laugh, make me think about a variety of perspectives and put up with my erratic posting schedule is an honor that I am very grateful for.

The show starts in a week. I won’t specifically be covering the convention for VideoBox this year (although I’ll probably write about it once or twice while I’m there), so I’ll be posting my updates and pictures here just for you. Happy New Year!

As an occasional watcher of golf (just the majors) and a sometimes fan of Tiger Woods (I usually root for Padraig Harrington), I’ve watched Tiger’s infidelity scandal unfold with mild curiosity.

Now that such illustrious publications as The Sun, The Examiner, and the Daily News have broken the unsurprising news that a porn star was among the ranks of Tiger’s “other women,” the story is just relevant enough to mention.

Porn star Holly Sampson is either mistres #6 or #7 (depending on who you ask).

This made me chuckle.

As you probably already know, Captchas are the boxes of wonky words you have to type in to verify that you’re a human being when filling out forms or buying concert tickets. Many of them are provided by a program called reCAPTCHA that helps to digitize books (and, the New York Times, currently) that machines aren’t able to read.

I have to wonder what book or New York Times article this particular combination of words emerged from: